extra resources

if you’re interested in what this site has to say, and want to hear words from the author, email the creator:

hello@boysdontcry.net

if you’re interested in the topic of masculinity in general, view these resources:

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Men and Masculinity by Colorado State University (recommended)

The Mask You Live In Documentary (easy watch!)

Social Construction of Masculinity by Wikipedia

Male Socialization .. by Health Central

Dude, you’re a fag by C.J Pascoe

Angry White Men by Micheal Kimmel

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or, maybe try googling these terms:

socialization (of gender), hegemonic masculinity, gender norms, gender roles, fag discourse, masculinity..

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there is a LOT of academic material written upon masculinity.

the problem, however, is that it’s not palatable.

first, try watching “the mask you live in” by jackson katz.

then, understand these key points:

understand that gender is socialized, it isn’t purely biological.

men aren’t born to murder, rape, and to be stoic.

we’re socialized to do so.

all of the gender policing (faggot, pussy, boys don’t cry)

by the media, peers, parents, schools, etc.

drives out the love and vulnerability that we are innately born with.

thus, the only response we ever can give out that is socially acceptable is anger.

we aren’t capable of being emotional because we get informally sanctioned when we do.

none of this is your fault. it’s a product of systems.

none of this is your fault. but we can change it.

don’t call your friends or son gay/faggot/pussy/etc.

be there for them. ask them what’s wrong, because

vulnerability usually matches vulnerability. this goes for you — too. go to people you think you can be close with.

there’s a reason why men kill themselves 3.54x more than women. (afsp.org)

working inter-personally is the driving cause of change for masculinity.

we can do this together.

i’m here for you.